yay.

AHAHAHA I heard the funniest announcement today when I was riding the escalator in a department store with my friend.  Japanese escalators are superbly annoying in that they have totally unnecessary warnings and reminders on replay...some sad little woman mournfully beseeching any escalator riders to "please hold the hands of young children", "please stand in the middle of the step" (which is actually very, very bad advice, as I will kick you to the side if I happen to pass by), and to "please hold the hand rail".  Whatever, lady.  

Then right after that:

"Terrorist attacks are strictly forbidden.  Explosives are not permitted in the store."

Well, actually, I was planning on carrying out a terrorist attack...but hey, you know, if the monotonic lady says it's forbidden - better respect her wishes, right?  I'll go get rid of my bomb.

Oh, also, I'm taking a 7:50 am bus to the airport tomorrow!  New York City, here I come.

a little hypocrisy...

I have to wear my uniform tomorrow.  And to make it half-decent, I have to roll up the skirt so it doesn't look too frumpy.  

I know, I know.  I know I always rag on the middle-schoolers for rolling up their skirts so high you can see their asses, but I swear that I am only taking the necessary measures to save myself from the humiliation sure to accompany bad style.  Plus, I won't roll up my skirt that high.  I hereby pledge not to look like a slut.

Besides, we have to wear royal blue blazers and uber-tacky greenish gold ties, so...hell, I wouldn't be able to look like a proper slut if I tried.  Sluts do have some sort of fashion sense, don't they?

I am, however, going to indulge in some toolish behavior after school.  My friends and I are planning to go take purikura (you know, the magical Japanese photobooths) to celebrate the end of school...and our super-awesome/atrocious outfits.  

I will admit that I genuinely like the knee-socks.  They are a ton of fun.

There.  Confession complete.

daddy dearest

Oh my God.  My dad is such a baby.  Jesus Christ.  I nearly cried at his ridiculous childishness just now.

So both my parents spent the entirety of dinner yelling at me.  Apparently I was supposed to have emailed Chouks a long time ago, but I neglected to do so...cue the yelling and the lectures.  You'll never get into college if you don't get Ms. Choukrane to notice you, you need to be more ambitious, we can only support you, you have to do this on your own.  Blah blah blah.  Whatever, guys.

Anyway, because they spent maybe an hour lecturing me, I figured, hey, maybe I should actually do what they tell me to.  Plus, I was kind of angry at them for being so incredibly annoying (I realized for the first time how insufferably slowly my dad talks when he's arguing.  Whether he is doing it to make the lecture even more excruciating than it already is, or just because he has no idea what to say next and is buying time, I do not know.  All I know is that I HATE it).  So after dinner I just stomped off to my room.  Then I felt guilty, and went back to do the dishes.  My dad was nowhere to be seen.  It's generally understood lately that my mom cooks, and my dad and I do the dishes, so my mom was like, "Aren't you going to help her?"  My dad returned reluctantly to the kitchen.  Hahahaha.  Snap.  But by then I'd already done over half the dishes, and only a few pots and pans were left.  So I told him, "Here, do these pots and I'm going to go type that email.  Fair?"  

And he freaked out.  First he flipped out over the fact that I'd asked if it was "fair" - he declared that household chores were things we all had to do, and it was wrong for me to determine what was fair and what was not.  Then he was all, "But I set the table!  You didn't do that!  So your job is to wash the dishes!"......What am I dealing with here, a six year old?  Jesus.  And he was scolding me about "fair".  Right.

So I told him to calm down and that I'd wipe the dishes.  Jeez.  Aw, I'm so mature.  Ugh.  Parents are so....ick.

Update (11:36 pm.):

My father just spent an hour editing and re-editing my email to Ms. Choukrane.  It is now perfectly perfect and written with such proper phrases that I am really afraid to craft my next email to her.  I feel like it has to be just as perfect and humble and intelligent-sounding.  Gah.  She'll probably think I'm an obsequious kiss-ass.  Oh well.  Maybe I am.

....

unfortunate

I just had to stand unreasonably close to some guy on the subway.  Note that I did not say "uncomfortably".  That would imply that the train was just really crowded, and there was no choice but to stand in positions that created physical discomfort.  No.  This man was simply standing unreasonably close.  It wasn't rush hour, and we weren't at a particularly popular station.  Maybe there was some really fat dude behind him pressing him into me, but this was very unsettling.  His briefcase (along with his hairy arm) was closer to me than my own bag was.  Unreasonable and unjustified.

At least he smelled really, really good.

Speaking of unfortunate, I just encountered two girls who used to go to international school here and now go to Exeter.  After reprimanding them (as is customary) for their sadistic way of teaching math, we started talking about...more interesting things.  Well actually, the topic of conversation wasn't really that interesting, but I was just half intrigued, half totally disgusted by their ridiculous way of talking.  Actually, more than half totally disgusted.  Try about 97% completely humiliated on their behalf.  They mixed English and Japanese shamelessly.  And it wasn't even normal Jenglish.  It was appalling and utterly unforgivable Jenglish.  Like every two words, they'd throw in some Japanese phrase, making their speech incomprehensible.  Try figuring this out:

"OMG, I did majide badly on that test!  Tashikani, it was like chottodake hard, but I'm like sukoshizutsu getting atama hennninatteru.  Like, seriously, I was dying and tochuude mou I was like, "Fuck this" and I just suteta."

..............WHAT.  I was literally so close to slapping their little heads and screaming at them.  I mean really.  Japanese-speaking people can't understand them, and English-speaking people can't understand them.  Only extremely specialized, fluent Jenglish speakers can somehow, miraculously, figure out what they're saying.  It's like some weird ultra-exclusive jargon.  But worse, because it's not put to good use.  At all.

Also they were uber abusing the phrase majide.  Which basically means "seriously".  Seriously.  Okay I do it too, but the word "seriously" just sounds so much prettier than "majide".  Right?  Yeah I'm totally right...haha I'm just biased.  But whatever.  

haha

Okay this is literally being written three seconds after I posted the last one, but I just noticed that sometimes I capitalize properly in posts, and sometimes I'm just lazy.  I'm doing it totally unconsciously, so I don't really know what's up.  Anywhoo.

Oh also, despite my bitter hatred towards all things related to English and History...I've discovered that I'm strangely obsessed with looking up words, terms, references, concepts, basically anything I don't know.  I used to not care at all, but now, I feel physically uncomfortable if there is a single word I do not understand when I'm reading a book or a magazine or something.  Same with references.  I feel like the magazine columnists are sharing an inside joke and I get really frustrated.  I just spent an hour looking up a list of maybe 100 words.  Granted, I don't remember them at all, but at least I understood them momentarily.  Actually, I'm not sure if I even did, but by looking them up I could check them off my mental list, so it made me feel better.  ............   

Maybe I should make a dictionary for myself so I can feel all accomplished and pretentious.  Har har har.  

I'm such a joke.

shmeeeegleblerghmeh.

Blahh.  So originally my family was going to spend New Year's in Long Island, just the five of us (grandparentsparentsme), chillin' in front of my grandparents' nonfunctional TV while stuffing our faces and playing cards.  But then my grandparents/actually just my grandma randomly decides she wants to go on a trip, and books a hotel in Newport for us.  Newport as in not California.  Haha.  But anyway.  Of course, being my grandmother, she doesn't consult with any of us.  She just calls us up one morning and is all "Hey so I got those rooms at the ____ Hotel, we're leaving on the 31st" and my dad's like "....Excuse me?"  Happens a lot in the Watanabe household.  Grandma being all authoritative and impulsive, and my dad just barely keeping up with her, doing damage-control.  Anyway.  This time, my dad gave in and decided, fine, we'll take the damn trip.  But I didn't want to go, because I was really looking forward to that lazy, Long Island New Year's.  All I really wanted to do was settle on the couch around 9 pm, blow my lame plastic noisemaker at midnight, fall asleep on the couch at around 2 am, then finally drag myself to bed and sleep till noon.  Ideal New Year's.  I know, I'm the coolest.  But really.  So much better than driving around in the cold pretending to "go sightseeing".  What are we looking at?  Trees?

Okay, well, apparently we could have gone to see Yale and Brown, but...nyehhh.  Plus, they're closed.  I'll just go during Spring Break.  

So yeah.  After much deliberation, I called Grandma and told her I didn't want to go, and could we please just stay in Long Island.  She said yes, of course, because her darling little granddaughter asked her.  She said we could buy our traditional Japanese New Year's feast, do calligraphy, play cards, all that good stuff.  Sweet.  But after I hung up the phone I felt horribly guilty.  I mean, my grandparents are over 80 years old.  As arrogant and self-centered as it sounds, all they really want to do is spend time with me.  And (dare I say it) who knows when we'll all be able to take a trip together again.  I just felt like a terrible, terrible person.  

And I'm still kinda bummed out.  I talked to my parents, and they said my grandparents probably didn't mind because I was still spending New Year's with them and not running off to some teenage drinking party.  I was going to be with them, and that's all that matters.  .....Umm, okay.  I'm just telling myself I'll make up for the lack of  family vacation time by being really nice during New Year's...I hope that works.

kiddies!

okay first of all, i'm eating these really delicious fruit gummies right now.  i have to say, japan is extremely advanced in gummy-producing technology.  they're SO GOOD.

anyway.  today i went with a bunch of people from ICU to volunteer at these two kindergartens.  the first-year students went to kindergarten #1, and the second- and third-years went to kindergarten #2.  we were split up into twos, and got to play with the adorable, bright-eyed little children.  i was paired with shota (as always...i have no idea why.  it's always very awkward because the WORLD is convinced i have a thing for him, which i don't.  we're just good friends because we were september-kids together.  blahh.  oh well.  seriously.  we're together for EVERYTHING), and we were to play with the kids in the "koyagi" class...the "little goats".  ahahahaha.  so cute.  the other classes were named after animals, too - pandas, little birds, bunnies, etc.  the "squirrels" class was special; they were the kids with autism.  that's the cool thing about these kindergartens.  most of the kids are "normal", for lack of a better word, but about a sixth of them have autism.  although they usually study in a separate classroom, a few times a day they go and join other classes.  pretty cool.  the awesome thing is that the other kids learn to treat the kids with autism just as they would treat anyone else.  They understand that sometimes they say or do things that aren't necessarily considered appropriate, but instead of being all "Why the hell did he just bite me" or "Why is he waving his arm around like a maniac", they simply accept it.  They also grow to be very protective of their friends with autism, getting defensive against anyone who dares be insulting.  it's so cute.  and really nice.

anyway.  so the little goats had playtime and PE during the few hours we were there, so shota and i took them outside.  ahhhhh.  omg.  i adore little kids.  they are actually the cutest things on the planet.  i love that they're so immediately trusting, and will grab your hands and jump all over you.  we played tag, and i was surprised to see that shota was uber good with kids.  it was actually very cute.  

after playtime, a bunch of them needed to pee.  taking them to the bathroom proved to be a full-on project.  as we were ushering the last of the goats into the room for PE, one of the kids with autism arrived to join our class.  he was kind of chubby, very loud, and extremely adorable.  upon seeing the other kids, he screamed "let me plaaaaaaaaay" at the top of his lungs and proceeded to barge into the circle of little goats.  haha.  and the little goats all shifted to accommodate him.  this little kid apparently had a weird obsession with heights, and throughout PE, he'd try to climb on the tables and chairs at the sides of the room.  but it was really nice to see them all playing together.

shmehhh.  when it was time for us to go, all the kids freaked out and like.  flung themselves at our legs and hung on for dear life.  i nearly died from all the cuteness.  but now, i think i sort of understand how parents feel.  taking care of kids is ridiculously hard work - making sure they don't hurt themselves, being kind but also firm when necessary, figuring out how to teach them right from wrong.  but they are so adorable, and the fact that they need you so much makes everything worth it. 

holiday cheer

So on Sunday, my mother hosted a holiday gathering at our house.  What had originally started out as small potluck-type party for maybe 15 guests eventually grew into a christmas-music-blasting, champagne-drinking, cheerful extravaganza for about 28, as my mother invited more and more people.  Jesus.  But it was, all in all, a very enjoyable evening.  This is how it went:

1pm - I finish making the cardboard star to put on top of the Christmas tree.  This stupid star has taken me about an hour.  But it turned out well.  After spending another 10 minutes deciding at what angle I should place the star, I climb down from the ladder and start putting the little star-shaped GelGems on the windows.

2pm - An hour before the party starts.  My mom begins to panic.  The meatloaf is still not fully cooked, she has not showered, the cardboard star I spent an eternity making has fallen off the tree, and there is a large spot on the floor in the living room that is extremely slippery.  While I tie the star to the top of the tree, my dad decides to solve the slippery-floor problem by unsticking the GelGems from the window and sticking them to the floor.  His argument is that the GelGems will make people aware of the floor and get them to be more cautious........No comment.   

2:50 pm - The first guests arrive.  Of course, my mom is nowhere near ready.  She is in her bathrobe.  My dad and I are left to entertain Mayumi-san and her son, Shota (my age).  My dad gets really awkward because he is not a very sociable person towards people he's not close with, and I was kinda in the middle of scooping all the crap off the floor of my room and into the closet.  Plus I have yet to decide what to wear - although there isn't much to think about, because I own no party-worthy clothing.  So I leave my dad to serve the guests drinks, and I go get changed.  When I come out, Mom looks me over and asks, "Don't you have anything more holiday-ish?"  So I go back into my room and don my Santa hat.  There.

3pm - Okay, more people come in.  Mom assigns me the job of "mashed-potato-maker".  And no, they're not real mashed potatoes.  I open the box of powdered mashed potatoes and start pouring in hot water, just as one of my best friends at school, Hibiki, arrives and saves me from all the exclamations of "You've gotten so grown-up!" and "You're taller than me now, I think" (uhh yeah Japanese people are uber short).  Thank God.  Hibiki's mom and my mom are total biffers.  No joke.  It's actually kind of disturbing.

3:10 pm - Hibiki and I are sent out to buy bread.  I am wearing my Santa hat and my ridiculously bright red jacket, so I get a lot of weird looks.  I forget that Tokyo doesn't have as many crazy people as Manhattan does.  We buy 3 baguettes and a roll of some sort of pumpkin bread.  Hibiki insists on carrying the baguette bag home, because it makes her feel French.  Hahahahah.  Well actually, to her credit, she does look extremely classy in her heels and general party attire.  And I'm the bright red Santa wearing jeans and a pair of Converses next to her.  Woo!

3:20~7 pm - General merriment.  Other than Hibiki and Shota, there are two other guys I've known since I was little - Takuji and Dai-chan.  Takuji is the ladies' man; funny, cool, easy to talk to.  Dai-chan is more serious, but he's still very nice.  Anyway.  One of my dad's friends brought his three kids with him, Ben (9), Uta (7) and Aya-chan (3).  They are ridiculously cute.  Ridiculously.  And they're all weirdly smart, too.  Seriously, if they weren't over 7 years younger than me, I think I'd be really intimidated.  We discover their seemingly unlimited intelligence while playing various card and board games.  They can pick up games instantly, and even Aya-chan, the youngest, is able to contribute.  Aya-chan is assigned the position of dealer during our game of SET (which both Ben and Uta can play perfectly.  Good lord), and she can look at the cards already put out and know immediately how many more she has to deal.  And she's such a sweetie, too - always the first to start cleaning up when the game ends.  We also play the aMAZEing Labyrinth (a maze/puzzle, obviously), and Uta appears to be the smartest of us all - finding paths and solutions that nobody else can even imagine.  

8 pm - Secret Santa!  Mom has arranged the $10 gifts everyone has brought under the tree.  We pick numbers from a hat, and grab the gift corresponding to the number.  I pity whoever gets my edamame plant...

8:30 pm - As the young'ns start to get sleepy, the party gradually deteriorates.  Everyone is busy saying goodbyes.  Most of the guests have left when I spot my edamame plant abandoned on the coffee table.  Hardy har har.  I give it to a very eager and grateful Uta.

8:45 ~ 9:45 pm - As usual, Hibiki and her mom are the last ones left so we all hang out on the couch, chatting and eating ice cream.  Then Mom brings out the fitness ball to demonstrate the latest exercises she's learned at the gym.  Knowing this can get pretty ugly, Hibiki and I escape to my room to play a round of Catchphrase (yes, I brought it across the world with me).

10 pm - Hibiki and her mom leave.  My parents and I are exhausted, so we all just collapse into bed.  It finally feels like Christmas!  Other than the fact that we can't leave gifts containing chocolate under the tree, because the floor-heater makes everything melt.  :D

yikes!

jesus.  i just read this blog over and i'm getting less and less articulate by the day.  help!

end of finals and such...

on thursday i had my last two finals.  chem was crazy easy and modern japanese was...in a word, death.  but oh well.  anyway.  i'd expected to feel liberated when the bell rang to signal the end of the modern japanese exam, but i felt oddly unsatisfied and restless.  maybe i'm starting to actually care about how well i do on exams and things.  i studied pretty hard for these finals, but it wasn't nearly enough.  the weird thing is, though, at ICU, i measure my success on a test by how many problems i left blank.  meaning, if i left less than a quarter of the answers blank, then GREAT.  i know that's probably unheard of in brearley terms, but it's pretty much impossible to be able to answer every question on a test.  so yeah.  

whatever, i'm gonna work harder next term.  (or so i tell myself...)

thursday night, we had a badminton dinner.  exams ended at around 10:30, and dinner wasn't until 4:45, so we basically had 6 hours to kill.  yeeshk.  my friend yurika and i decided to wander kichijoji (two stations away from school.  one of the main hangouts for young, "hip" people).  there are all these little stores on the street, as well as some big department stores.  walking around was fun, but ridiculously tiring.  after wandering for about three hours, we decided we were way too exhausted and retreated to the arcade-type basment of this department store, where we fooled around with a purikura machine.  purikura machines are my new obsession.  i realize it is a totally narcissistic and toolish thing to do, but they're SO MUCH FUN.  and in my defense, i don't like the ones where you just stand there with your friend and take cutesy, prettified pictures of yourself ("prettified" because purikura machines have light settings that can make your eyes look brighter and bigger, or your skin look clearer, or whatever).  those are lame.  but i love the ones that have the cool backgrounds.  a lot of the machines have green backdrops and green "stairs"that disappear, and you can pose so that when they put the actual background in, it looks like you're surfing, or riding an elephant, or whatever.  yeah i know that was really hard to understand but it was extremely difficult to explain.  i apologize.

anywhoo.  i also had to buy a few things, so the kichijoji wandering session was good for that as well.  my class is doing secret santas (no debates over secret "santa" or secret "snowman" this year haha), so i had to buy a gift for under 500 yen.  500 yen is basically nothing, so it was a very challenging task.  i ended up buying a pair of really fuzzy ducky socks and a peach-scented gel pen.  luckily the girl i'm buying my secret santa gift for is really really nice, so it wasn't too hard to pick something for her.  i'm really glad i didn't get one of the boys because well.  boys are impossible to shop for, especially for under 5 bucks.  

my mom's also doing secret santa at her holiday party/get-together she's hosting tomorrow at our house, so i had to buy something for that too.  this one was even harder because i had to buy something for under $10 that would appeal to everyone (man/woman/boy/girl), because we're picking presents at random.  i bought an edamame plant.  haha.  hey, DIY edamame is awesome.

friday, the badminton team went to disneyland.  the number of people there was mind-boggling.  seriously, it was totally absurd.  the lines for the really popular rides like splash mountain was 120 MINUTES LONG.  jesus.  ridiculous.  and what was even more ridiculous was that we actually waited on line for 2 hours.  hooooly crap.  but we ended up going on about 10 rides, which wasn't too bad.  plus i got to go on the merry-go-round.  wheee.  but nobody would ride on alice's teacups with me.  i was extremely upset.

hurrah

this weekend was pretty productive.

saturday:  i had a violin lesson, in which i was force-fed chocolate biscotti and chocolate ice cream.  delicious.  my teacher only has 5 students at this point, and feeding them after their lessons has become her hobby.  i like her hobby.

sunday: stupid SAT class.  well.  i just took the test from 10 to 2, then went back at 5 for the "lecture" part.  but, again, there were no other students, so it was just me and sandy (my 20-something artsy-fartsy dark-curly-haired teacher) chillin'.  haha.  it was fun.  we went over the stuff i messed up, then we still had two hours left, so we kinda hung out and he taught me some cool math stuff.  eh.  i dunno.  i also discovered a huge slang dictionary, which, in all honesty, was one of the most amazing books i've ever seen.  it was about 1000 pages long, and it included every single slang word you could ever think of, as well as some really random sayings/phrases that i've never heard of.  ever.  for example:  "if his brains were gas, they wouldn't be able to power a flea's motorcycle around the inside of a cheerio" to describe someone's stupidity, or "if it were raining pea soup, i would get hit on the head by a fork" to demonstrate your continual bad luck.  wtf.  but it was so funny.  SAT class is kinda stressful though because i got a really good score once, so i feel like now i have to live up to it and it scares me.  blah.  oh well.

OH and today was the national dance competition!  ICU's girls' dance team got THIRD.  out of...like, 70.  which is pretty damned impressive.  their dance was called "hijo-guchi" which means "emergency exit".  basically their dance was based on those little running green men that represent the exit signs.  it was actually really cool, albeit a bit creepy.  all 47 of them were dressed in head-to-toe neon green (green hoodie, overalls, etc.) and had crazy intense makeup on.  heehehe.

and the boys got 6th!  woot.

thennn i went to hibiki's house (she's on the dance team) to work on our history project.  we had to make a russian newspaper, published anytime between 1870 and the end of WWI.  basically we were supposed to make it really patriotic and make people want to enter wars and stuff.  ahah.  it was pretty fun.  except i stayed up till 6 in the morning doing the layout and making it look perfect, because hibiki wrote virtually all of the articles.  she is SO GOOD.  so i felt bad, and made up for it by being a complete perfectionist.

monday:  we have today off, so i hung out at hibiki's and now i'm working on my english essay.  or not, because i'm updating this.  but whatever.  wow i feel SO unhealthy.  i got two hours of sleep on a weekend (which should just not happen), we ate copious amounts of chocolate last night, and we had the WEIRDEST dinner ever.  it was basically yellow.  ahah.  what i mean by this is that the meal consisted of pineapple juice, corn soup, and cheese toast.  oh, and rice balls and pork buns.  healthy.

big fat asian men in thongs

okay after venting my regret and anger, i just remembered something from this morning.

i was watching the news during breakfast with my dad, and i realized that sumo-wrestling is as huge in japan as baseball is in the US.  and yeah i know japan's known for their fat man-wrestling, but it's really bizarre to think of such a sport being followed so carefully.  like every morning during the "sports" section of the news, sumo stuff comes up along with baseball, tennis, golf and stuff.  it's so strange.  especially because sumo is still really...just.  not modern at all.  like the referee is dressed in traditional kimono-type wear and has this huge black hat thing on his head, and the sumo wrestlers wrestle on this wooden platform and if they get shoved, they go tumbling into the audience.  i don't know why people still sit there.  but yeah.

but i guess that's one of the things i love about japan.  i mean yeah, tokyo's extremely modernized and all about new technology, but there are some old traditions that will always continue to live on.  like the ancient tea ceremonies, the public baths with the circular, wooden tubs that only hold like three people at a time, staying in a "ryokan", a traditional japanese inn, and sleeping on futons on a floor made of grass/hay/something like that...and a lot more.  it makes me so happy.  like i can't imagine having...i dunno, colonial stuff in every day life.  

epic, epic regret.

AHHHHHH.  NOOO.

they're taking down out gym soon so they can build a new, cooler one.  so today we had a weird "goodbye gym" assembly/party in which all the clubs that use it (basketball, badminton, volleyball, cheer, dance, etc.) did random little skits aka we hit hi-chews at the crowd with our rackets.  THEN the cheer and dance teams performed the stuff they've been preparing for their competitions.  i took a video of cheer because i didn't have any cheer videos, but i didn't take one of dance because i was sitting behind some people and i already have like a billion dance videos.

WORST.  DECISION.  OF.  MY.  LIFE.

the boys' dance was actually THE cutest thing i have ever seen in my entire existence.  it was called "otokogokoro" which means "man's heart".  omgomgomgomg.  i am still spasming from the cuteness.  there are about 10 of them, and they were all wearing homemade shirts with these big different-colored hearts sewed onto them.  and basically the "plot" of the dance...the guys like a girl, try to ask her out or something, get laughed at (there was actually a girl laughing in the music) and get really, really depressed.  this part made me want to huggle all of them.  when they got rejected, they like fell onto the floor in anguish and all curled up into little balls and gathered in the middle, consoling each other.  then they get up and start primping (each of them did a different "primp move"...like styling hair, washing face, etc. etc. etc...for some reason loyd was playing guitar, i guess he just wanted to look cool).  and yeah you don't really know how it ends because nobody laughs or does anything, but i am seriously, seriously regretting my decision to not video it.  especially because they were making facial expressions which i will probably never get to see again in my life.  so, so ridiculously adorable.

i loathe myself.  

oh life.

life is so very, very monotonous.

yeah, school's...fun...i guess....not really.  i mean, sure, we have our occasional laughing fits, inside jokes, bonding moments, all that.  but it's really not that much to look forward to, is it?  i feel like i'm just going through each day, not really gaining anything.  literally just going through the motions.  i don't even think about anything anymore.  my dad wakes me up at 5:45 every morning, and i don't even complain - i just get ready for school and sprint to catch the train.  i go through each transfer automatically, settling into the day that is always the same as the one before.  even at school, i'm kind of just sitting in all my classes just absorbing (or not absorbing) information, and i really couldn't care less about any of it.  it's just so tedious.  then badminton's just a pain, but i go anyway because i feel bad.  and even when i don't have badminton, i come home and go to the gym downstairs because i feel like i should.  then every evening is the same, too - i practice, eat, maybe study a little, and go to sleep.  i feel so very far away from everyone back home, and i miss them so much.  it sucks because when i'm feeling particularly lonely, it really hits me that i'm so alone.  none of my close friends are here with me and...is facebook really the only thing connecting me with them?  what the hell.

so when i actually think about it and write about it, i feel really depressed.  but the weird thing is, the days seem to go by pretty fast.  i mean, yeah, it's boring, but i guess it's a mixture of complete, utter indifference and a serious lack of interest in anything that gets me through.  sounds weird, doesn't it.  but because there's nothing to look forward to and nothing to dread, each day just sort of slips by.  

wow, i really don't know what i'm trying to say.  because i mean, don't get me wrong.  i do have fun, i do like my friends, i do enjoy life.  but i also feel like there's nothing to DO.  and strangely, i feel like i'm not actually...living.  it hasn't hit me that i'm living here.  i come home every day and see the door to our apartment, and i'm like "oh hey here's the room we're staying in" as if it's a hotel or something.  i've been here for three months now, which is the longest i've ever spent in japan (other than when i was born).  but it still feels like i'm on vacation.  

AHHH.  i'm so confused and i don't know what i'm thinking and this was just all a very very convoluted post but i'm just gonna leave it because well.  maybe if i read it tomorrow i'll know what i was trying to say.

i suck at lyrics

am i the ONLY PERSON in the entire world who can't figure out lyrics for shit?  i was listening to "Get Up" by ciara today and no matter how many times i listened to the line after "i can see it in your eyes" and strained to hear the actual words, i always got "smooth as a muffin".

now that can't be right.

that is all.

so cool.

i recently discovered that japanese kids have the coolest way of studying for exams.  let's see if you can figure out what it is.  i will give you these clues:  1.)  a lot of the worksheets/workbooks have fill-in-the-blanks, and kids always fill the blanks in with red pen.  2.)  a lot of workbooks come with a random sheet of red thick-cellophane-type ...paper?  not paper, but yeah.  basically solid cellophane, if you can imagine that. 

any guesses?

well basically, once they write the answers in, they can cover their worksheets with the red cellophane, which causes the answers to disappear.  (you know, red light being reflected and all that.)  but you can still see the rest of the question, so it's basically like redoing all your fill-in-the-blanks.  and yes, i know you could just as easily cover the answer with your finger, but then you can't see the rest of the question!  plus this seems so much cooler.  i was intrigued.  i still am.  too bad i didn't know what the red cellophane in my earth science workbook was for a month ago.  cause i cut cute little hearts and stars out of it.  oops.

okay also really randomly, i super need a new email address.  and a new screenname.  cause pumfer418 is getting a wee bit old.  slash extremely old.  but i kind of don't want to change it right now because people know me as pumfer418, and i'm also too lazy to tell everyone.  plus, kids from greenwood and crs know pumfer418, and although there are some people i don't talk to, it's nice to have them know who you are when you IM them.  instead of getting a crude "who are you?" as a response.  so maybe i'll just change it next year.  for college and stuff.  

it's freaking freezing here.  okay it's not that cold, but it's still cold because i don't have clothing well-suited for this kind of weather.

extravagance?

first of all, randomly, i decided that taking precalc last year was the worst idea ever.  we went so ridiculously fast that i don't remember ANY of it.  like today i was reviewing stuff that i had supposedly already learned but i was like wtf we never did this.  stuff like complex numbers and derivatives and limits and shit.  gahhhh.  

also, today my dad and i went to this ridiculously amazing japanese grocery store.  ridiculously amazing because the prices were so obscenely high that it was hilarious.  the best thing that i saw was a $115 melon.  a single melon.  jesus christ.  and then there were less expensive melons that had "kinokuniya" (the name of the store...yes it's also a bookstore) written in gold on the melon.  oh, and by the way, these gold-emblazoned melons were the same type as the $115 ones.  except these only cost $40.  what's the difference?  the expensive ones had perfectly symmetrical, T-shaped stems attached.  $65 dollars for a friggin' stem.  great.

they were also selling strawberries - 15 very carefully arranged berries for $31 dollars.  no wonder japanese people have no money.  they're eating $2-a-berry strawberries.

weird...

okay first of all, i was trying to edit my blog settings, and i come across the "transliteration" option.  i wanted to enable it so i could use japanese, but apparently blogger only allows indian languages, like tamil, kannada and hindi. .....wtf.  

anyway.

woah.  i've been crazy busy lately.  not because i have a lot of homework, it's just that i feel like i don't have enough time to do everything i need to anymore.  i draw up a schedule for myself every day during school, and i usually keep to it because it makes me feel productive and efficient.  i've been getting back into violin, and i find myself having to rewrite my schedule multiple times to allow myself my desired amount of practice time.  it's usually not enough, but i also like to sleep.  it's weird though because i've been getting about 7 hours a night, but i am still SO RIDICULOUSLY TIRED.  i don't get it - i have like zero work, and i'm getting more sleep than i did in new york.  i think it's all the commuting and the whole school-in-japanese thing.  maybe it just takes more brain power or maybe i'm less relaxed or some weird shit.

also, i have to finish my freaking painting.  even in japan, i am the slowest painter.  surprise, surprise.  possibly because i'm a perfectionist.  but probably because i'm just slow.  so yeah.  i had to lug home my huge sketchbook on the train and now i'm trying to paint an hour a day, but so far i've only been able to fit it in twice.  oh well.  at least his jacket is painted now.  

but today i realized, very strangely, that i actually enjoyed my classes.  this is very very odd because at brearley, i hated them.  other than art, i found my classes so tedious and boring and i couldn't wait to get out.  but i was sitting in bio today (which i despised in 9th grade) and it was so interesting that i was actually doing my excited "bob" in my seat, waiting for our teacher to explain the next concept.  WTF?!  but yeah.  my friend naoko and i were so excited we kept harrassing the teacher, being like "wait but what about this?  and how does this work?  and why does this happen?"  he was like  guys.  shut up.  but OOH he showed us a PIRANHA JAW BONE.  complete with teeth.  those little suckers are crazy sharp.

and even in ancient japanese...i love our class (level 3) because we all actually try really hard.  because we're the lowest level, i guess we feel like we really need to learn stuff.  most of the kids in level 1 and 2 are always asleep, never listening to the lesson, but our class is always really vocal and stuff.  and it's really fun.  our teacher is so cute.  she puts hello kitty decorations on our exams/tests so we don't get too intimidated.  :)

field trippin'

on halloween, we went on a first-year field trip to kamakura!  it was so much fun.  kamakura city is about an hour away from my house by train.  it was established in 1192, during the kamakura period.  so it has all these cool temples and shrines and stuff - not to mention the best food EVER.

we were broken up into groups of 7 - my group was so kickass.  (okay you guys don't know these people but i figure you'll enjoy the japanese names) me, naoko, may, sachiho, saki, so and loyd.  (okay so loyd is half japanese.  as is may.)  we met at the station at 9:50 am, then walked to hachimann-gu, which is this hugeass temple.  we walked around, scared some pigeons, took some pictures.  then we bought these adorable candy apples for 100 yen.  you get two if you win in rock-paper-scissors with the vendor, but none of us did.  apparently that guy is god of rock-paper-scissors.

by then, other groups had kind of deteriorated, so we just went around together in a huge pack.  instead of being good students and basking in the glory of the temples and enjoying the ancient history, we decided we'd walk to the beach and stuff our faces along the way.  first, we stopped at a murasaki-imo store (direct translation:  purple potato).  they had THE BEST fried murasaki-imo things.  they're basically mashed potato patties rolled in bread crumbs and deep-fried.  delicious.  i had two more later on.

a little further on, we saw a parade of small children trick-or-treating.  so freaking adorable.  most of them were wearing ki-gurumi.  those of you who've seen my facebook photos, my friend naoko is wearing a large green dinosaur ki-gurumi.  "ki-ru" means "to wear". and "nui-gurumi" means "stuffed animal" so ki-gurumi is basically a wearable stuffed animal.  so imagine toddlers in full teddy bear, pikachu, and frog suits.  it makes your brain melt.

then closer to the beach, kaoka got this ice cream that was really yummy - it tasted kinda like pudding.  we also passed by this store called "colo colo burger".  just so you know, "colo colo" is the sound stuff makes when it rolls somewhere.  in japanese, at least.  so we really wanted to buy the burgers and go eat them on the beach, but miyu warned us that the seagulls are really aggressive and would just steal our burgers, so we refrained.

at the beach, we found loyd sitting by himself playing uno.  i don't know how you play uno by yourself, but he was.  so the guys joined him, while we took our shoes off and went frolicking in the water.  it was mad cold.  but still a lot of fun.  we also took some "screaming teenage angst into the ocean" photos, but then we got depressed with all the angst and took happy pictures instead.  

afterwards, we were all pretty much starved, so we walked back to komachi-dori, which is basically the main shopping street.  because everyone wanted to eat different things, we all split up.  naoko, may, hibiki and i decided we wanted to just roam and eat various things instead of having a sit-down meal.  so here is a list of things i ate:

-candy apple

-more purple potato things

-purple potato ice cream

-mitarashi-danngo (three balls of mochi covered in yummy sauce speared on a stick)

-warabi-mochi (mochi-like substance cut up into squares with sweet soy powder on top)

-tiramisu dorayaki (so dorayaki is the famous pastry doraemon loves.  but this time, instead of the customary red bean paste, it had like a whole freaking TIRAMISU inside.  wtf.)

-bite-sized sushi (no raw fish for me)

-pork bun ("niku-man" in japanese)

-BLT sandwich (...why the hell was i eating a blt at kamakura?  oh well)

-various types of senbei (japanese crackers)

HELL YEAH

i'm not eating for a week.  ha.

so that was basically our field trip.  it was awesome.  i don't know what the purpose of it was, but it was hella sweet.

i'm really enjoying life in tokyo right now.  midterms are over, we have virtually no homework, my friends are great.  but i CAN'T WAIT to go home for break.  i'm so excited to hang out with all of you guys.

laughable.

hello tharrr.

soo i have finally gotten all my midterms back.  they were fabulously, ridiculously, amazingly hilarious.  hilarious because pretty much all my scores were, in Brearley-terms, below failing.  but at the same time, i was pretty proud of myself because i was above average for all of them except earth science.  i always sucked at that....but yeah.  i'd expected to do horribly, so i'm semi-glad i didn't completely die.

just to give you a taste...

modern japanese:  44/100.  average:  41/100.  hahahaha.  epic fail.

english "lit":  80/100.  average:  68/100.  this was the most ridiculous exam ever.  all the writing stuff was fine, but there was one section about "general knowledge".  i absolutely failed that part.  because the questions were like, "how many times must a witch draw her magic circle for it to be effective?"  wtf.  i guessed three.

world history:  58/100.  average: 54/100.  i'm so mad though, because i spent like five minutes trying to remember how to say "communist manifesto" in japanese, and i couldn't do it.  turns out i could've written "communist manifesto" in english and it would have been fine.

math:  93/200.  average:  65/200.  well that's the average for level 3, anyway.  the average for level 4 was like a 21.  HAHAHAHA.  i got a 93.  out of 200.  which means a 46.5/100.  but ummm yeah i was pretty happy with this because we were tested on first semester material (which i wasn't there for) as well, but i didn't fail!!!  yay.

ancient japanese: 45/100.  average:  36/100.  even though i scored 20 points lower than the highest in the class, i was pretty proud of myself because i did the best on the "kihon-mondai", which means like "basic problems".  those are the ones based on the textbook and stuff we've learned in class.  the test's made up of two parts:  basics and like...challenge problems.

physics:  82/100.  average:  68/100.  eh, physics. 

earth science:  54/100.  average:  60/100.  i suck.

but okay.  the cool thing about all this is that i sort of got to prove myself.  i mean, i was expected to get like.  20's because i'm the new kid.  and this is the first time i've actually like really worked hard and seen results.  and i know, i know, my scores can't even be classified as "results" because they're so low, but i'm happy i even got that far.  like at brearley, i've been stuck in a grade rut for 11 years.  like in english, i can work hard, but still not see any progress.  on the other hand, in some classes, i can also not work and still be fine.  and you're stuck with this image of yourself that people have - for example.  i am good at math, french grammar, and some science.  even if i don't do that well in the classes, people don't really think about it that much.  but here, nobody knows what i can and can't do, so i just had to work that much harder to try to show people what i'm like.  it was kind of fun.  although my grades are still really sucky.  must study hard for finals.

a rundown

so, because this is the sunday before midterms start, i'm assuming (...slash hoping) that i won't be on blogspot for at least a week.  i really need to not fail.  although that may be difficult because the average for history is a 50, the average for math is 120 out of 200 for level 1 (and i'm in level 3...).  so we'll see how it goes.

a list of recent happenings:

1.  my school is seriously cat world.  actually, it kind of reminds me of the japanese animation movie "totoro".  the ICU campus is all woodsy and nature-filled, and walking to the school building, you'll see at least 8 cats.  sometimes on their own, sometimes all huddled together.  it's adorable.  now, i have no idea why that reminds me of totoro, but whatever.  the point is...well, you don't usually see cats wandering about near 610 east 83rd.  so i like it, it's different.

2.  i am slowly but surely getting better at japanese, while simultaneously losing my english.  first to go is the vocabulary.  there are so many words that i can think of almost immediately in japanese, but i have to ponder awhile to remember what it is in english.  also, i have lost my ability to write concise sentences.  actually, i had to look up the word "concise".  i knew what it was in japanese - "kanketsu" - so i looked it up in my japanese-english dictionary.  oh dear god.  but anyway.  so during english "lit" (i refer to it as "lit" because technically it's the literature class, but...it's so, so, ridiculously not) i was trying to write a sentence like "putnam thought proctor was taking his wood", or something to that effect.  this is what i came up with:

"putnam thought that the wood proctor was going to take was actually his."

jesus christ.  i fear brearley english next year.

3.  we watched a video on abortion during christianity class.  ha, ha, ha.  but yes.  we did.  and it was the scariest thing of all time.  i won't go into everything here, but those of you i've already talked to today know the extent of my terror. now, i'm not against abortion.  i just think it's terrifying.

4.  people from a few colleges (so far, UCLA, wesleyan, northeastern, etc.) have been coming to talk to anyone who's interested in applying to american schools after high school.  i went with two of my friends, and the reps kept talking about how they're always looking for diversity and stuff and how they had these scholarships we'd be eligible for and stuff.  and i realized how much easier it'd be to get into college from here.  i mean, going to harvard and yale after ICU is UNHEARD OF.  it was a huge deal last year when one kid got into princeton.  damn nyc private schools...

5.  i just realized that apparently i have a weird attraction to stuffed bunnies.  i mean, i love teddy bears and dogs and all that, but somehow, the three stuffed animals i currently have in my bedroom are all bunnies.  weird.  totally not intentional.

6.  i should really start studying.  my midterm order:  earth science, english grammar, ancient japanese, math, english "lit", modern japanese, physics, world history.  alright, self.  ready, set, study.

a thought

it was rainy today.  

first, before i start my anecdote, i really need to say that i severely despise it when people speak english just because they think it makes them cool.  i mean, it's fine if you're fluent, because...that's the language you speak.  but it really bothers me when these people think they can speak perfectly, but they can't, but they still insist on using only semi-perfect english.  they can express themselves perfectly well in japanese, so USE IT.  yeah.  so i was sitting near a bunch of girls who, according to my friend, have been overseas for maybe...i don't know, an average of six or seven years.  that's long enough to allow them to be able to speak english, but not long enough for them to be perfect in it, you know?  but they just kept talking in this weird accented english (which wasn't really the problem, cause that's mean, but it bothered me anyway) and they were being so ridiculously dumb that i wanted to hit them.  blahhh.  i probably sound really conceited and terrible and mean, but i like.  cannot explain the madness.  anyway.

so today.

my friends and i missed the 3:40 school bus (by the by, "school buses" are basically city buses painted bright blue with "ICU High School" written in yellow lettering on the side....yeah, they stand out).  so we were standing in the rain under our umbrellas, just talking.  my friend maya had this huge-ass umbrella that was literally about three feet in diameter, and so, even though i had my own teensy umbrella, i was standing under it.  of course, this led to me breaking out into a chorus of "you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella".  however, a bunch of the annoying girls mentioned above were standing right behind us.  when they heard me sing (in my standard enthusiastic, half-shouting, head-bobbing way, of course), i saw them snicker and visibly roll their eyes at each other.  

woah, judgment from you?  no thanks.

having grown up in new york, at ICU, i pride myself on being good at english.  better than most kids, anyway.  but the thing is, i guess the girls behind us didn't really hear me that well, and they'd probably assumed i was a wannabe-american who just knew the song "umbrella" and was trying to be cool - and they were laughing at my supposed lameness and the "bad accent" that wannabes often have.  so even though at first i was like "woah.  excuse me?  you don't even know me", i kind of understand now.  and it made me think about how many people i'm judging every day, based on my own silly assumptions that are probably not even based on anything substantial.

 

ten things.

ten things you wish you could say to ten different people right now.

1.  i miss you and the comfort you provide.  i miss how we could always be ourselves together.  i miss being able to make you laugh.  sometimes, i secretly and selfishly like that you're so attached, because i don't ever want to lose you.  i love you.

2.  i admire you more than anyone.  you are so smart, witty and quick that it sometimes intimidates me.  i love how whatever you choose to do makes you happy, and you only do those things for that one purpose.  you've inspired me in so many ways.  i wish i could be you.

3.  i hate you.  you treat me terribly, and you drive me completely crazy.  i can't count the number of times you've hurt me.  and yet...i can't let you go.  it kills me.  i love you.  where are you?

4.  i love you!  i miss talking to you every night, with your stupid little insults and weird opinions that i'll never completely understand.  we are so different, and i haven't known you for that long - but i feel so close to you.

5.  we have our ups and downs, but i know that deep inside, we really care about each other.  thank you - you've made me stronger.  i admire you, your strength, your drive, your talents.  i miss you.  you feel so far away.  but i know you're cheering me on...

6.  i miss talking about everything with you.  you are so different from all my friends; i love it.  and i love how confident and opinionated you are, and so sure of yourself all the time.  i wish we could spend more time together.  

7.  thank you for being the perfect friend.  you are so unselfishly kind, generous, and loving.  but for what?  sometimes, i think you give too much.  love yourself first.

8.  you bother me.  don't be so full of yourself.  i like you sometimes, but somehow you make me feel threatened.  you are selfish, conceited and judgmental.

9.  our tastes are so different, yet we are so close.  i can tell you anything and everything - more than i can tell other people.  you're one of my oldest friends, and i plan to keep it that way.  thank you for always sharing my pain, my embarrassment, my joy.  thank you for picking apart everything i tell you, and for grilling me for details.  everything's more fun that way.  i love you.

10.  i love you and your uncanny ability to make me laugh - we have the exact same sense of humor.  i miss dancing in the hall with you for getting rid of stress before concerts, watching you fail at playing chopsticks, being at greenwood with you.  you are my favorite.

nine things about yourself.

1.  i am a horrible nail-biter, but i only developed this habit two years ago.

2.  i am afraid of change, and am terrible at letting go.

3.  when i take an interest in something, i get hooked.

4.  i am so, so, so indecisive.

5.  i can carry a surprising amount of weight piggyback-style.  i am also surprisingly strong for my size.

6.  greenwood is my favorite place in the world.

7.  i am very un-asian when it comes to my work ethic.

8.  i often get along better with adults than with people my own age.

9.  there are many things i wish i knew how to do.

eight ways to win your heart.

1.  be yourself, and be confident being yourself.

2.  be sweet.

3.  be open.

4.  make me laugh.

5.  have something unique about you.

6.  be really good at something.  it can be anything.

7.  don't be boring.

8.  care about me.

seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1.  "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

2.  "i want to be on 85th and park avenue right about now..."

3.  "stop talking."

4.  "..what?!"

5.  "i don't get it."

6.  "i miss her/him."

six things you do before you fall asleep.

1.  brush my teeth.

2.  wash my face.

3.  crack anything that i can crack.  (knuckles, spine, neck, toes, etc.)

4.  snuggle with my blanket and squishy pillow.

5.  wiggle my toes.

6.  close my eyes and relax.

five people who mean a lot.

1.  mom

2.  dad

3.  grandma

4.  grandpa

5.  everyone at home.  ha.

four things you're wearing right now.

1.  grey brearley sweatpants

2.  volleyball hoodie

3.  large white t-shirt

4.  socks

three songs that you listen to often.

blergh, i listen to many all the time.

two things you want to do before you die.

1.  get married.

2.  learn how to play the drums.

one confession.

i'm a bitch.

me?

you know what i love most about being here?

i can be whoever i want to be.

it sounds lame, but seriously.  i really can.  nobody knows me except for one girl, and she doesn't even know me that well.  it's so much fun, creating your own personality.

well, i guess what i really mean is, i love how when you're in a new place, there are no preconceived ideas of you.  since nobody expects you to be any certain way, you can just make it up as you go along.  be who you always wanted to be.  or continue being who you already were.  in my case, it's a mixture of both.  

at brearley, i guess i was seen as energetic, bubbly, happy, whatever.  but i was also always somewhat "the baby" and was shnuggled by everyone.  here, i'm still shnuggled, but within myself, i feel more grown up.  more mature.  i am still small, physically, but from the very first day i told myself i wouldn't be the baby.  not this year, anyway.  and i guess it shows?  because everyone keeps telling me, "oh, you're so cool.  you're always so confident."  which is interesting, because i often don't feel that confident inside.  but it's so different from being at brearley.  

also, when i first got here, i guess i was a bit quiet, as all new kids are in the beginning, i suppose.  but after about a week i got used to it and started behaving normally, and everyone saw how weird/odd i actually am.  and yeah, i guess i'm strange, but i wouldn't have it any other way.  it makes life more interesting, you know?

ambivalence?

okay.  so i simultaneously love and hate how polite and respectful people are in japan.

i love it because...i don't know, it's kind of fun to respect people.  plus, after a class/practice/something, everyone bows and says "arigatou-gozaimashita" or "gokurou-samadeshita" or "otsukare-samadeshita" which means "thank you very much", "thanks for working so hard", "you must be tired - good job/thank you"....or something to that effect.  damn, translating is so hard.  you really can't get the full effect.  bah.  

but anyway.  it feels so nice and united and..i dunno.  again, you can't get the full effect.

but i also hate it because japanese is really annoying in that there's the normal way you talk to your friends and stuff, then there's kei-go, which is the polite form of speech.  you have to use it when you speak to elders and other important people.  and it's so complicated, and you have to remember it, and it's rather difficult.  also, because i didn't grow up using it on a regular basis because i only spoke japanese to my family members and japanese school friends, i feel really awkward using it and often say things incorrectly.  so that's embarrassing.  

and, you have to use kei-go when speaking to second- and third-years.  japan really emphasizes seniority, especially in high schools.  it's not just the american thing with freshman hazing and seniors taking the best lunch tables, but it's seriously like.  you have to worship the third-years.  so it makes playing sports really scary.  if you're playing with second or third years, you have to apologize profusely every time you screw up and it's terrible.  i mean, i already feel enough pressure with people my own age.  it's just like.  gah.  first-years are basically expected to do whatever their seniors say, no questions asked.  of course, in reality, it's not this severe and there are a lot of inter-grade friendships, but...being the new kid and all, it's actually quite intimidating.

on a different note, i just realized that basically all of my mistakes on my math quiz were calculation errors.  BAHAHAHA.  i loathe myself.  if i had gotten them all right, i would have gotten 24 more points, boosting me up to a semi-passing 65.  woo.  but in my defense, all the calculations were very complicated, and we're not allowed to use calculators.  brearley has made me dependent.  especially when it comes to like.  permutation and combination calculations, which was pretty much what was tested.

also, they DON'T DO PARTIAL CREDIT.  sooo.....mergh.  i lost 12 points on one of those problems that's in three parts, and if you get the first one wrong, you get the other two wrong because you base your answers off the first one.  ahahahahaha.  damn you.

updates

blah!  much to update y'all on.

so, i'm going to make a list and summarize.

1.  sports festival!  ...last monday, was it?  unfortunately, it was raining.  but they didn't cancel it, so we had to have it in the rain.  ha.  it was wicked cold.  especially because we weren't allowed to wear sweatshirts during the cheer competition.  basically, there are six teams, and each team had designed a t-shirt for everyone to wear.  ours (we were team 2 because we're class #2) were bright yellow.  1 was white, 3 was pink, 4 was green, 5 was red and 6 was blue.  we looked like skittles.  but anyway.  our cheer was kickass.  it was SO COLD but so much fun nonetheless.  and we got pom-poms.  so that made it all better.  but don't worry, it wasn't like suburban-highschool-football-cheering.  it was more like.  crazy dance cheering.  yay.  

we also sucked hardcore at the huge jump-roping event.  whatever.

2.  moving.  we moved to a bigger apartment with more user-friendly bathrooms.  ahha i'm not even going to go into detail there.  but yeah.  this one's really pretty and white and modern, and very bright.  i like it.  and we're on the 22nd floor, and a lot of the surrounding buildings are pretty short, so if you go out on the veranda you can look over and see the city.  it's pretty cool.  plus, the best thing is that the subway station is less than 2 minutes away.  literally, you leave our lobby, walk about 50 feet to the escalators, take four escalators down, and you're at the station.  sweet.

3.  clubs!  AHHHH.  to play volleyball, or to not play volleyball!  i worried about it ALL DAY today.  because seriously, i can't make up my mind.  i'm definitely playing badminton, i'm just worried about volleyball.  because okay.  i'm really weird and i HATE games.  i lovelovelove drills, but absolutely despise games.  and so when we're doing drills, i have so much fun and i want to join.  but when we start playing games, i'm like aggghhhhh can i leave?!  and i have fun during practice, but afterwards, when i think about the next practice i'm going to go to, i kind of weirdly dread it.  i dunno.  it's weird.  i think it has something to do with the whole crazy age hierarchy in japan, which i will describe more fully in the next post.

4.  okay.  i know it's totally a line, but i actually really miss the "intellectual stimulation" one gets at brearley.  not because i'm being all pretentious and i'm-smarter-than-all-these-people and shit, but because literally, i need to do more work.  more literary work, to be precise.  because i have more than enough science/math-related issues - i understand NOTHING about physics (mostly because the japanese physics vocabulary is really confusing and because our teacher sucks and has gone against everything i previously thought was true about physics), and i just got a 41 on my math quiz.  WOOOO!  but it's okay, cause the average for our class was a 21.  and the worst grade was an 8.  yeah, ICU gives out a lot of D's and F's.  it's like.  normal.  getting an A is like.  unheard of.  weird.   but.  my english lit class?

DEATH.DEATH.DEATH.DEATH.

it's so un-challenging i want to scream.  again, not being pretentious.  i mean, it's not anyone's fault, because even though it's the top-level class, there are kids who've been overseas for 15 years, like me, and kids who've only been for 2.  so i mean.  there's not really much you can do about it.  but seriously.  we're reading the crucible, which is set in 1692, soo...the language is different from modern english, right?  but no big deal, right?  WRONG.  nobody understands it, and we spend our classes making character lists, explaining what ACTUALLY HAPPENED in the last page, and "translating" words into modern english, such as: "what would 'aye', 'hearty', 'parlour', 'sport' (as in, 'it were just sport, uncle!') mean in modern english?" 

i am literally dying to write an analytical english paper.

gahhhhhhhhh.

food.

a list of things i want to eat:

-movie theater popcorn

-coleman's grilled cheese sandwiches

-pintaile's pizza

-brearley-style baked ziti

-mac+cheese

-lehner-style pilaf

-lehner-style cucumber and mozarella sandwiches

-mozarella sticks

-greta's chicken salad

-american cherries

-those chocolates called ferrero rocher or whatever

BLAH.  I WANT FOOD.

i've been craving food for the past week.

why do most of these things somehow have cheese in them?

sorry, lisa.

karaoke!

yayyy so last night was super fun.

we'd spent the entire day outside doing cheer and jumprope practice.  our cheer is kind of sucky, because there's a ton of sprinting (to get into position) involved and it looks uber messy, but it includes the YMCA so it's okay.  haha.  and the jump-roping...well we're supposed to have our entire class (41 kids) jump rope at the same time.  you know, those huge long ropes.  sooooo yeah.  at first we could only do it like once, but now we can do it like.  15 times in a row.  yay?  haha.  but i'm at the very front so the rope is ridiculously high.  like up to my knees.  and it's fine in the beginning, but then i start getting really tired.

and i got really sunburnt.  ouch.

ANYWAY so after that we'd planned like.  a class get-together.  i was SO tired and i kinda didn't want to go, but i went anyway.  only about 20 people came out of the 41 in our class, but i actually liked it better that way.  we went to like a cute happy cheap family-style italian place, and shoved tables together and had a merry time.  and i was surprised, a bunch of the guys came.  so there were like.  13 girls and 7 guys, maybe.  hahah.  story of my life.  but it's always like that because there's twice as many girls as boys in my class.  28 to 14.  hahahaha.  yay.  anyway.  so after partying it up there, we went out to karaoke (guys' idea).  only like 12 of us went, but it was SO MUCH FUN.  except like i didn't want to sing by myself, and i only know american songs, so it was kind of an issue.  but luckily my friend haruka used to live in greenwich and knew a bunch of songs i knew, so we sang "sugar, we're goin down" and "viva la vida" and "stand by me" together.  haha.  and i sang like two japanese songs with everyone.  HAHAHA this guy loyd who's one quarter japanese was really into heavy metal/screamo songs, and he sang one song that repeated the phrase "PEOPLE = SHIT" like 10 times.  jesus.  we banished him to the other room.  :D

japanese things

three funny little things i recently discovered about japan:

1.  in a lot of public toilets, each stall has this little electronic panel.  when you push a button on the panel, it plays the sound of rushing water for 25 seconds.  you know what it's for?  it's so other people don't hear you peeing.

they have these at school, too.

2.  at bookstores, if you buy a book, they'll ask you if you want a paper cover put on it.  i bought two things today and when they asked me, i was like "....no...thanks?" cause i had no idea why i would want a paper cover on my book.  turns out, it's cause some people don't like it when other people see what they're reading, like if they're in the subway or something. 

jesus, japanese people are self-conscious.

3.  this isn't really a "thing", just something that amazed me.  

i went to uniqlo the other day, and good LORD i love japanese clothing stores.  so i was in the changing room with my mom, and this store lady came to help us.  i was trying on pants because i like have none, and i was having my usual scruples about size, color, etc.  so this lady basically like.  attaches herself to us for like an hour, going back and forth, getting different pairs for me to try on.  i didn't even ask for any help in the first place!  and she was so knowledgeable about each brand/type, and gave us so much advice on what to get.  then.  japan does this weird thing where they like.  make pants long on purpose.  i don't really know why, but it's totally fine, because they tailor everything for you right there in the store.  that's right.  and if it's just standard shortening, it's FREE.  (so obviously, because i'm short even by japanese standards i suppose, i got everything shortened hahaha.)  and they do it for you that day and you can pick it up in a few hours.  and everyone who works there is so polite, nice, and kind...i want to live in japanese stores.  when i picked up my stuff the guy at the counter showed me every hem and was like "if you find anything wrong, please do not hesitate to call this number and ask for me, i will make sure it is taken care of".  i was like AHH I LOVE YOU.  

and they do all this for no tip.  japan doesn't do tips.

gaku-sai!

woo.  it's been a while.  and by "a while" i mean like.  6 days but whatever.  but i have a lot to catch you children up on!

soo this whole week was filled up with festival shenaniganry.  the annual school festival is called the "gakko-sai" or the "gakuen-sai", "gaku-sai" for short.  we stopped having classes last friday, and saturday and monday were prep days.  saturday was probably the most exhausting day of my life.  i was at school from 8 to 6, and i know that doesn't seem like a long time, but it is when you have to leave the house at 6:40 am.  and then do physical labor like hauling huge blackboards up three flights of stairs.  and yeah.  but anyway.  basically, our "preparation" consisted of getting our classroom festival-ready.  our class decided to do a casino, so we had to make it all awesome and vegas-y.  in the end it really didn't look like vegas at all, but it was still pretty cool.  we taped huge black sheets of paper over all the windows, made really hardcore posters, constructed things for our booths.  we had three booths: one for blackjack, one for russian roulette, and one for this japanese game called "cho-han".  and just fyi we weren't doing the russian roulette where people shoot themselves.  instead, we had two big cardboard boxes and we cut slits in the sides, and made a bunch of cardboard knives.  you have to stick knives into the slits and try not to "stab" the pirate inside, who'll jump out at you if you hurt him.  sounds like fun, right?

during these preparation days i realized just how insanely perfectionistic japanese people are.  okay well first of all, EVERYONE can draw.  it's amazing.  when we were making posters, they'd just pick up markers and start drawing freehand, and everything would turn out perfectly.  jesus christ.  especially this one guy named so - he's INCREDIBLE.  anyway.  but yeah.  so we were outside the classroom trying to decorate the wall.  first we taped black construction paper all over, but then, because, apparently, it all didn't fit perfectly, we untaped every other sheet to make a checkerboard pattern.  then, we taped actual playing cards over the paper to spell out the word "GAMBLE".  but it was kind of hard to see, so we started tearing sheets of colored construction paper into tiny pieces, rolling pieces of masking tape into circles, sticking the tape onto the pieces of paper, and taping the paper around the cards.  now you have to understand these playing card letters were around two feet in height.  that's A LOT of tiny construction paper pieces.  good god.  and then, we ran out of yellow paper before we could finish the "A", and so i suggested we mix bits of yellow origami paper in, but everyone was like "NOOOO (russell peters-style), IT'LL LOOK FUNNY" soo we ended up unsticking every single little piece of yellow paper and using a different color.  

we also made maybe about 100 feet of origami paper chains.  you know, cutting slips of paper, rolling them into circles, and gluing them together?  yeah.  we had to make enough to go around our entire classroom like, three times.  blah.  but it was fun.  

tuesday and wednesday were the actual days of the gaku-sai.  tuesday was a holiday and businesses/schools were closed, so it was meant for parents/friends/kids from other schools to come and see ICU.  it was a ton of fun.  i had a three-hour shift at the russian roulette booth, but it was so much better than i thought it would be.  some kids had bought those noise-maker things - you know, the ones where you pull the string and it makes like a gunshot sound?  yeah.  so i had a bag of those, and i sat in the boxes, and when people stabbed knives in the slits, i'd jump out, pull the string, and scream.  heehee.  totally my type of thing.

my mom and two of her friends came, so we also went to the cheerleading and dance performances.  they are AMAZING.  especially the boys' dance team.  i wish i were a boy so i could join that team.  haha.  but seriously.  so cool.

random tidbits

ahaha, i was told today by two people that they liked my way of speaking japanese, and that it was really cute.  interesting.

and i change my mind again.  now i don't hate dance class either.  we had it again today and it was really not bad at all.  i've learned to not care what other people think AT ALL in that class.  it's fun.  everyone's dances today were actually really good.  except for a warm-up the teacher was like okay i want you to express the letter F.  but not like make the shape with your body.  make F-like movements.

wtF?

HAHAHAH i feel so bad for japanese kids who wear clothing with english on it that makes no sense whatsoever, but don't even notice.  for example, today, i saw two funny shirts.  one was worn by this guy in my english class (ironic, no?) that said "I'll give you the RIDE of your life".  another was worn by a girl.  it had the phrase "These are my all access passes" across the front.  sad thing is, she didn't even really have big boobs.  yikes.

okay ALSO, i was reading a magazine or something, and i saw this ad for this really weird-looking wallet.  it had about a billion separate compartments for credit cards, ids, etc. so i looked closer to see what it was.  apparently, people are using their cellphones to steal credit card numbers and stuff.  japanese phones are crazy and have like built-in infrared beams to transfer information and shit, so apparently it's a really easy thing to do.  so said wallet protects your cards.  weird.  technology is scary.

funny things

japan has the funniest stuff of all time.

the other day my friend showed me a "banana case".  it is actually a plastic case specially made for holding bananas.  it seems kind of ridiculous and unnecessary, but because a lot of people bring lunch from home, it makes some sense...because some people like eating bananas....hahaah.  but seriously.  it's like this green plastic case with littles holes in the sides...air holes for the banana?  and it opens on one side.  and apparently it has been carefully designed to hold any banana of any size.  crazy shit.

hmm.  what else is new?  since i had a good day today, and i was coming home at like 7 and it was already dark, and i was listening to a dance-y song on my ipod, i suddenly started dancing in the middle of the street on my way home.  specifically, the electric slide.  it felt strangely liberating.

you know what's weird?  today i was talking to some september 2nd years (juniors by US standards, i guess, because i'm a sophomore.  except sophomores are 1st years in high school in japan) and they were telling me where they all came from.  of course they were surprised at my "yeah i was in new york for 15 years" deal, but i think i was more surprised by where THEY'D been.  one guy was like yeahh i was in the US, bangladesh, australia, and ghana.  another girl was born in ireland, and had lived in ghana, US, italy, china.  someone else: zimbabwe, shanghai, new zealand.  JESUS CHRIST.  

they must be used to making friends.

changes

okay, i change my mind.

i actually like school now.

i mean there are still things i hate, like dance class, physics, weird english grammar translations.  but everything's gotten a lot better.  here are a few things that have become more fun:

1.  i now have friend.  ssss.  plural.  i used to only hang out with the september kids, as i will call them - meaning the kids who came in september like me.  but that really wasn't fun because they're in class #1, and i'm in class #2.  the other september kid in my class is the guy from london, who's nice, but i mean i'd like to have girlfriends too.  but because the school festival is coming up and there's a lot of stuff to prepare, i've been staying after school to help out.  well i haven't actually been doing much, but it's so much fun to just chill there with a few people.  today there were...maybe around 10 people.  we kinda just sat around, listened to the guys play guitar, ate food (not much different from brearley, is it), found a curling iron and curled people's hair.  including one guy's really short spiky hair.  haha yay.  so yeah that has helped me get to know people.

2.  lunchtime.  again, i used to just eat with my september friends, but now, for the school festival, we have to learn these cheers/dances.  basically, it's a competition between classes 1-6, so each class has to learn about 6 cheers.  each grade has 6 classes, so all class #1 people, whether they're in grade 1, 2, or 3, are together.  since there are 40 kids in each class, imagine 120 kids doing the same cheer.  i'm so excited.  i guess they're not really cheers in the american sense - it's more like...a really simplified version of a routine done in a music video, meaning we do funny dance moves to a shortened song.  well in this case 6 songs.  wow i really suck at explaining things...i'm kind of afraid i will forget how to speak/write coherent english.  because my english classes aren't really doing anything.  yikes.  so anyway, these cheers are SO MUCH FUN to learn, and we have practices twice a day.  at lunchtime and after school.  eeee.

3.  math class.  i have officially abandoned the izumi island.  before this week, i basically sat alone by myself on izumi island during math.  i will explain this.  so my class has maybe...25 kids in it.  there are i guess 6 "columns", and 6 rows of desks.  i sit in the second row, second column.  but nobody sits in the column to my right, and most people sit in the back.  nobody sits directly behind me or in front of me.  the girl i knew from new york sits on my left, but two of her best friends from dance team sit next to her on her left, so she joins desks with them, leaving a  rather large gap between us - completing the izumi isolation island.  hahaha yay.  i could have switched desks, but i didn't really mind because it gave me time to do whatever the hell i wanted with no one to bother me/read over my shoulder.  but now i've gotten to know people better so i joined the dance team island.  they're a fun bunch.  not exactly my type, but fun.

yeaaaah.  so yay.  i'm so excited for this saturday because we don't have classes.  instead, we're spending the entire day preparing for the festival, which is next week.  SWEET.

standardized testing is for squares

so apparently i did better than i thought on my SAT diagnostic test i took last week.  however, i'm not really sure how well they graded my essay, because i met the teacher guy who did it and he was the most...unteacherlike guy i've ever met.  i really liked him though.  he was so refreshing.  it was interesting - he was like "guys.  you know what they don't teach you in high school?  critical thinking.  that's what the SAT tests you on.  i mean, in college, they might hand you a Karl Marx document and ask you how Marx develops his argument.  they're not gonna ask you that in high school."  

.....au contraire.  but okay.

ah, brearley.  love-hate relationship.

and the dude was like "great essay!"  psh.  please.  i wrote about how apple manipulates consumers by making really pretty ads that look clean and fresh.  ahahahaha.

and yeah.  my first session of SAT class was kind of a joke, because we learned like..."what is the cardinal rule of equations?"  and everyone was silent and i was like.  um.  do the same thing to both sides?!  awesome.

occurrences

1.  i overheard a conversation between a couple of girls between classes about the summer homework.  one of them had apparently totally copied some random website for the bible summaries she had to do.  and the teacher read her report and it was full of like intense scholarly interpretations, so he knew she'd plagiarized.  but seriously.  why does that even happen.  perhaps i was so shocked because brearley has hammered the idea that plagiarism is the worst crime possible into my head, but like.  okay fine, i get that you were busy over the summer, but why not take 3 SECONDS to actually read what you're copying?  or maybe even change some things so it sounds like maaaybe you possibly wrote it?  jeez.  and screwing with your BIBLE assignment at a christian school?  harsh.

and the weird thing was, she was like "ehh but i don't really wanna redo it so i don't think i will" even though the teacher had explicitly told her to.  

the world is fucked up.

2.  I RECEIVED KIKA AND LISA'S PACKAGE.  seriously, made my day.  it contained the cutest bunny build-a-bear that i am in love with, and also contained candy and other happy things.  my favorite part was kika's card, though.  it was covered in writing so tiny that it actually looked like simple lines printed on the card.

3.  i talked to chrissie online, which made me extremely happy because i miss her terribly, terribly much.

4.  i videochatted with timothy, who is also doing well.  i miss that boy so much.

5.  ate a delicious, but very tiny, fruit tart.  japanese pastries are so pretty.  the colors are so vibrant and the designs are so cute.  i could take pictures of them forever.

dance, dance

P.E. class today was a weird mix of insecurity, embarrassment, inferiority complexes, and enjoyment.  haha.  we had to give dance presentations in groups of four.  sort of reminded me of dance class in lower school - the really awkward presentations we had to give.  but anyway.

the teacher played this creepy egyptian/arabian-type music, and we all shouted out words that came to mind, such as "snakes", "creepy religions", "camels", and "egypt".  then in our groups of four, we each picked a word we wanted to work on.  my group picked "snakes".  now.  i was in a group with hibiki, may and naoko, and all three of them are like best friends and are on the dance team.  hibiki is the girl i knew from new york.  they all really wanted to do "snakes", so i was like hell whatever.  

as most of you know, i don't really dance.  i enjoy having fun at random dance parties and stuff, but i don't...dance dance.  and all three of them are really good because dance team at ICU is hardcore.  and so there they were being all snakey and i was like okay i am not doing this because a.) i physically CANNOT slither around like you people, and b.)  i feel really dumb.  so i decided that i wanted to be the guy playing the pipe that summons the snakes.  good way out, right?  and so we made up a story where i play the pipe and the snakes wake up and dance all snakily and then they come and attack me and squeeze me to death.

so the presentation went really well, because well.  the three of them were good, and i got to be really dramatic in my dying and suffocating to death.  but i really disliked having to go up there with these girls, and i felt like i stuck out like a sore thumb.  but then again, because i was in a group with them, i felt "safe", meaning that they wouldn't be watching me and judging.  because when all the other groups were presenting, i knew they were like wtf are they doing.

blah.

straight C's?

oh wait.  maybe i'm just studying because i know my grades will be ridiculously bad this year, mainly because i'm in level 3 for three of my classes.  basically, ICU has a really sucky grading system, and they don't grade within separate levels.  the grades you get for the trimester is based largely on the end-of-term exam, so obviously the smartest kids, the ones in level 1, get the A's, so us lowly ones in level 3 are destined for eternal C's.  unless we somehow magically become geniuses and get an A.  in which case we are transferred to level 1 for the next trimester.  so the chances of that happening are very slim.  and anyway, because the september students missed first trimester, we haven't learned any of the first trimester stuff, which'll be on the test.  OH and the exam is the SAME for all levels.  how is that fair?!  but yeah anyway.  so over half the grade always gets like 50s on all their tests and stuff.  super.  

and also cause i'm not a smartypants.

wow, three posts in a day.  help me.

obsessions.

so i realized today that when i become obsessed with something, i really become obsessed with it.

perhaps i picked up this trait from lisa...

but seriously, in the past few days, a few things have had my constant attention, whether i'm in school, at home, or anywhere in between.

1.  dan brown's "angels and demons".  this one was probably the best of the four: the davinci code, digital fortress, and deception point.  all his books pretty much have the same pattern...a mega-smart, tall, handsome man somehow gets pulled into solving a crazy mystery with a ridiculously attractive yet somehow unbelievably intelligent woman.  but i love them.  so much.  once i started reading "angels and demons", i could literally not put it down.  i was reading it on the train, walking up and down stairs to other trains, during the 10-minute breaks during classes, walking home from the subway station.  and now that i'm done, i'm sad.  

2.  braiding.  this huge school-wide festival is coming up, and it's really intense and the entire school is busy planning for it.  basically, every class (6 classes in each grade) has a "booth", i guess - for example, my class is going to have a vegas booth, and have people play blackjack/russian roulette/other fake gambling games.  haha.  and then all the clubs do something, so the dance and cheerleading teams are especially hard at work.  (cheerleading is actually really good.)  anyway, so back to the braiding - apparently we're giving out little bracelets are prizes, so we have like a pound of friendship-bracelet thread in the homeroom, and we all had to take 30 strands to make ten braided bracelets.  very simple.  so i finished my ten strands in about ten minutes and somehow physically needed to make more.  and that is what i have been doing nonstop for the past two days.  everyone thinks i'm insane.  but it's so much fun.  really.  it's actually very soothing.

3.  okay, this is less of an obsession, but i've suddenly become very eager to study and do work.  i know, i know.  gasp.  the horrors.  well i guess that's an exaggeration.  but what i mean is, i never used to care if i had no idea what was going on in class, if i hadn't completely understood the homework, whatever.  i cared more about remembering what 5 across was from yesterday's crossword, because i needed to use it in 19 down for today's.  but now, i always need to understand what's going on, and i can't just blindly fill in blanks for homework.  i need to actually comprehend the meaning.  WHAT'S GOING ON, I KNOW.  i guess it's because i'm in a new place and i'm trying to save myself from as much confusion/embarrassment as possible.  i mean, maybe i'm subconsciously thinking that if i at least know the educational material, i'll be able to eliminate any chances of education-related uncomfortable incidents.  so yeah.  weird.  i actually just finished learning all my characters for japanese class, complete with the definitions of every word, and basically finishing my english report due...next wednesday.  wtf, Izumi.

rantsandraves.

okay, a few things to say today:

1.  i know it's thursday, but why, why, WHY do i have school on saturdays.  WHY?!?!  i am already dreading it.  for serious.  and i know i should be used to going to school on saturdays because i went to japanese school and stuff, but this should be illegal.  plus i have practice on saturdays.  until 4.  WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.  make it stop.  and i'll have SAT class on sundays, so life is extra sucky.

2.  english grammar class is uber hard.  yes, i know, laugh if you must.  but seriously, it's so hard trying to relearn a language you speak fluently.  so, so hard.  and our teacher is japanese, and she's like so TOTALLY wrong on some things that i just want to hit her.  well she's pretty old so she might die, so maybe i just want to smack her head a little.  but either way, it's so hard to learn things like helping verbs when you need to know how to translate them back to japanese.  sentences that flow from my mind automatically have to be dissected, analyzed, translated.  and apparently, because japanese people are so damn systematic, there is a CORRECT translation for everything, and it isn't open to interpretation whatsoever.  and also, there are sometimes MULTIPLE ways of translating things, but the "rule-book of english" (written by a japanese person, i presume) that our teacher uses doesn't contain all of them, so only one way is correct.  for example:

"she cannot be free"

so i took this to mean...well, now i have to put it back in english, but basically that if some guy was holding her hostage, he was refusing to let her go.  this makes sense, right?!?

but apparently, the book only listed one meaning...like, "she cannot be free!", an expression of disbelief.  

good lord.  i hate this class.  it's terrible because i've spent 15 years in the states, i am fluent in english, and yet i will probably get like a D on this test because i can't use my instincts and USE MY NORMAL ENGLISH.

wow.  major rage.  sorry.  and a lot of caps.  lower case letters, i apologize.

3.  i think it's kinda cool how kids in japan always have to clean their own classrooms.  meaning, we don't really have janitors.  well they exist, but they only help out in the gardens/grounds and i guess they do like, major cleaning of classrooms during breaks and stuff.  but every day after school, we all have to take turns and sweep/mop/etc.  it's pretty nice.  it also encourages the kids not to leave the rooms a complete mess, because they know they'll have to clean it up later.

maybe brearley should do that.  but then again, i can't possibly imagine all of us cleaning our homerooms.  

bane of my existence.

okay also, i HATE COMMUTING TO SCHOOL. 

queens/brooklyn/bronx/long island/etc.-dwellers, i have a newfound respect for you.

mehh.  currently i have to leave the house at 6:40, walk to the station, get on a subway for one stop, walk up and down more stairs, get on another train for three stops, then walk up and down and up and down and up again to get to the train, then take that for about half an hour.  then i have to get on a bus that takes me to school.  (p.s. school is HUGE.  i mean the campus is huge.  it takes like 20 minutes to walk from the entrance to the actual school building.  ah, what you can do when you locate your school outside of the city.)  and i finally get there at like.  8:15.  faaaaaabulous.

thank god we're moving in october.

actually.  we're moving like.  two inches.  

okay more, but it's closer to the station.  hahaahha.  wooo.  

More?

okay so that last post was way too long, so i'm continuing here.  something else i've been asked a lot:

what are the people like?  any new friends?

okay so i have no friends.  haha no i'm kidding, but it's kind of hard to make friends.  sometimes, i feel like it's not cause i can't be friends with them because i'm unsocial or terrible in some way, but because i don't really feel like exerting the effort.  slash i don't really want to?  i don't know.  i mean, there aren't any particular people that i think are so insanely awesome that i want to get to know them better, and i have a perfectly fantastic set of friends back home.  i mean, there are people i talk to.  i hang out at school with two other girls who came in in september with me, and they're nice.  but they're not like people i would confide in, tell stories to, etc.  but they're great, it's nice to have people in the same boat as you - plus they're actually very nice people.  so that's good.  and then i know this one girl from new york because our moms are like.  super tight, but we're not really "friends"...i mean, we talk and stuff, but she's more of like.  the fashionista-bitchy type.  not really.  i dunno.  just not really like me.  there.  and like, since school's already in the second trimester, everyone has kinda already established friendships that are hard to "infiltrate" if you don't really try.  and i really don't think i'm trying.  oh well.  i'm sure i'll probably fall out of my "i don't need friends" phase, plus the kids on badminton are really nice.  it's annoying though cause they're all in classes 4-6, and i'm in 2, and 1-3 rarely ever have classes with 4-6.  eh.  

oh a weird thing about clubs (...basically anything extracurricular, including teams) are really intense.  i'm gonna do badminton, because i was too scared of the intense japanese volleyball players - plus badminton's not as hardcore as all the other ones.  but i was also watching dance, and it looked really fun, because it was like hip-hop and stuff.  well no.  the BOYS' dance team was.  i wish i were a boy.  ahah.  anyway.  yeah but it's funny because in japan, there's like a really respected "hierarchy" in high schools (which only have three grades) - obviously, the seniors are at the top, then juniors, then sophomores (who are basically freshmen).  so during practices and stuff, all the younger ones call the older kids "senpai" which means basically like "my senior", and if you play with someone older, if you screw up, you're always like "ahh i'm so sorry!" except way more politely and formally because.  japanese people are just polite.  i dunno i can't explain the expressions people use, but it kind of scares me because i mess up a lot.

what i really realized when i got here was how incredibly small our brearley world is.  i mean, i know pretty much everyone in the entire SCHOOL.  here, i don't even know everyone in my grade.  and people are so similar at brearley, so it's kind of refreshing to see how enormously different people can be.  i mean, a lot of these kids grew up in 4, 5 different places, so i guess it's hard not to have something really unusual or unique about you.  i also realized how brearley education is simultaneously so great and so sucky.  wow that was terrible and blunt phrasing.  but really.  during summer school, we had placement tests, and it was just like.  fjddfkja;kfaaaaaack.  i've been so well brearley-trained that non-brearley tests are like.  a shock to the system.  i know exactly what's on, say, a brearley history test: fill-in-the-blanks, ids, pairs, and an essay, usually in that order.  i know what stuff teachers want us to focus on, what keywords they want us to write, all that jazz.  it's pretty simple, if you've grown up being taught that way.  but that's only in brearley world.  once you get out, everything's so different.  and you've been so brearleyfied that anything "different" is terrifying.  or it is for me, at least.  so in that sense, it's sucky.  but the great part is: brearley really teaches you to think, analyze, interpret.  over here, in class, teachers rarely call on you if you're not raising your hand.  if no one's raising their hand, they keep talking by themselves.  it's basically like a lecture - and while i enjoy lectures because i'm not really the sharing-in-class type, it gets kind of lonely after a while.  and the thing is, it doesn't matter if people don't say anything here, because if you read the textbook and memorize the facts written in it, you'll be totally fine.  tests are totally from the textbook.  but at brearley, you seriously cannot do that.  even if you read what you're supposed to, you get to class and find out that's basically just the background info.  and through class discussions, brearley teaches you the material you need to know, which is made up mostly of interpretations and analytical stuff.  sooo ehhh.  you can't have everything, i guess.