yay.

AHAHAHA I heard the funniest announcement today when I was riding the escalator in a department store with my friend.  Japanese escalators are superbly annoying in that they have totally unnecessary warnings and reminders on replay...some sad little woman mournfully beseeching any escalator riders to "please hold the hands of young children", "please stand in the middle of the step" (which is actually very, very bad advice, as I will kick you to the side if I happen to pass by), and to "please hold the hand rail".  Whatever, lady.  

Then right after that:

"Terrorist attacks are strictly forbidden.  Explosives are not permitted in the store."

Well, actually, I was planning on carrying out a terrorist attack...but hey, you know, if the monotonic lady says it's forbidden - better respect her wishes, right?  I'll go get rid of my bomb.

Oh, also, I'm taking a 7:50 am bus to the airport tomorrow!  New York City, here I come.

a little hypocrisy...

I have to wear my uniform tomorrow.  And to make it half-decent, I have to roll up the skirt so it doesn't look too frumpy.  

I know, I know.  I know I always rag on the middle-schoolers for rolling up their skirts so high you can see their asses, but I swear that I am only taking the necessary measures to save myself from the humiliation sure to accompany bad style.  Plus, I won't roll up my skirt that high.  I hereby pledge not to look like a slut.

Besides, we have to wear royal blue blazers and uber-tacky greenish gold ties, so...hell, I wouldn't be able to look like a proper slut if I tried.  Sluts do have some sort of fashion sense, don't they?

I am, however, going to indulge in some toolish behavior after school.  My friends and I are planning to go take purikura (you know, the magical Japanese photobooths) to celebrate the end of school...and our super-awesome/atrocious outfits.  

I will admit that I genuinely like the knee-socks.  They are a ton of fun.

There.  Confession complete.

daddy dearest

Oh my God.  My dad is such a baby.  Jesus Christ.  I nearly cried at his ridiculous childishness just now.

So both my parents spent the entirety of dinner yelling at me.  Apparently I was supposed to have emailed Chouks a long time ago, but I neglected to do so...cue the yelling and the lectures.  You'll never get into college if you don't get Ms. Choukrane to notice you, you need to be more ambitious, we can only support you, you have to do this on your own.  Blah blah blah.  Whatever, guys.

Anyway, because they spent maybe an hour lecturing me, I figured, hey, maybe I should actually do what they tell me to.  Plus, I was kind of angry at them for being so incredibly annoying (I realized for the first time how insufferably slowly my dad talks when he's arguing.  Whether he is doing it to make the lecture even more excruciating than it already is, or just because he has no idea what to say next and is buying time, I do not know.  All I know is that I HATE it).  So after dinner I just stomped off to my room.  Then I felt guilty, and went back to do the dishes.  My dad was nowhere to be seen.  It's generally understood lately that my mom cooks, and my dad and I do the dishes, so my mom was like, "Aren't you going to help her?"  My dad returned reluctantly to the kitchen.  Hahahaha.  Snap.  But by then I'd already done over half the dishes, and only a few pots and pans were left.  So I told him, "Here, do these pots and I'm going to go type that email.  Fair?"  

And he freaked out.  First he flipped out over the fact that I'd asked if it was "fair" - he declared that household chores were things we all had to do, and it was wrong for me to determine what was fair and what was not.  Then he was all, "But I set the table!  You didn't do that!  So your job is to wash the dishes!"......What am I dealing with here, a six year old?  Jesus.  And he was scolding me about "fair".  Right.

So I told him to calm down and that I'd wipe the dishes.  Jeez.  Aw, I'm so mature.  Ugh.  Parents are so....ick.

Update (11:36 pm.):

My father just spent an hour editing and re-editing my email to Ms. Choukrane.  It is now perfectly perfect and written with such proper phrases that I am really afraid to craft my next email to her.  I feel like it has to be just as perfect and humble and intelligent-sounding.  Gah.  She'll probably think I'm an obsequious kiss-ass.  Oh well.  Maybe I am.

....

unfortunate

I just had to stand unreasonably close to some guy on the subway.  Note that I did not say "uncomfortably".  That would imply that the train was just really crowded, and there was no choice but to stand in positions that created physical discomfort.  No.  This man was simply standing unreasonably close.  It wasn't rush hour, and we weren't at a particularly popular station.  Maybe there was some really fat dude behind him pressing him into me, but this was very unsettling.  His briefcase (along with his hairy arm) was closer to me than my own bag was.  Unreasonable and unjustified.

At least he smelled really, really good.

Speaking of unfortunate, I just encountered two girls who used to go to international school here and now go to Exeter.  After reprimanding them (as is customary) for their sadistic way of teaching math, we started talking about...more interesting things.  Well actually, the topic of conversation wasn't really that interesting, but I was just half intrigued, half totally disgusted by their ridiculous way of talking.  Actually, more than half totally disgusted.  Try about 97% completely humiliated on their behalf.  They mixed English and Japanese shamelessly.  And it wasn't even normal Jenglish.  It was appalling and utterly unforgivable Jenglish.  Like every two words, they'd throw in some Japanese phrase, making their speech incomprehensible.  Try figuring this out:

"OMG, I did majide badly on that test!  Tashikani, it was like chottodake hard, but I'm like sukoshizutsu getting atama hennninatteru.  Like, seriously, I was dying and tochuude mou I was like, "Fuck this" and I just suteta."

..............WHAT.  I was literally so close to slapping their little heads and screaming at them.  I mean really.  Japanese-speaking people can't understand them, and English-speaking people can't understand them.  Only extremely specialized, fluent Jenglish speakers can somehow, miraculously, figure out what they're saying.  It's like some weird ultra-exclusive jargon.  But worse, because it's not put to good use.  At all.

Also they were uber abusing the phrase majide.  Which basically means "seriously".  Seriously.  Okay I do it too, but the word "seriously" just sounds so much prettier than "majide".  Right?  Yeah I'm totally right...haha I'm just biased.  But whatever.  

haha

Okay this is literally being written three seconds after I posted the last one, but I just noticed that sometimes I capitalize properly in posts, and sometimes I'm just lazy.  I'm doing it totally unconsciously, so I don't really know what's up.  Anywhoo.

Oh also, despite my bitter hatred towards all things related to English and History...I've discovered that I'm strangely obsessed with looking up words, terms, references, concepts, basically anything I don't know.  I used to not care at all, but now, I feel physically uncomfortable if there is a single word I do not understand when I'm reading a book or a magazine or something.  Same with references.  I feel like the magazine columnists are sharing an inside joke and I get really frustrated.  I just spent an hour looking up a list of maybe 100 words.  Granted, I don't remember them at all, but at least I understood them momentarily.  Actually, I'm not sure if I even did, but by looking them up I could check them off my mental list, so it made me feel better.  ............   

Maybe I should make a dictionary for myself so I can feel all accomplished and pretentious.  Har har har.  

I'm such a joke.

shmeeeegleblerghmeh.

Blahh.  So originally my family was going to spend New Year's in Long Island, just the five of us (grandparentsparentsme), chillin' in front of my grandparents' nonfunctional TV while stuffing our faces and playing cards.  But then my grandparents/actually just my grandma randomly decides she wants to go on a trip, and books a hotel in Newport for us.  Newport as in not California.  Haha.  But anyway.  Of course, being my grandmother, she doesn't consult with any of us.  She just calls us up one morning and is all "Hey so I got those rooms at the ____ Hotel, we're leaving on the 31st" and my dad's like "....Excuse me?"  Happens a lot in the Watanabe household.  Grandma being all authoritative and impulsive, and my dad just barely keeping up with her, doing damage-control.  Anyway.  This time, my dad gave in and decided, fine, we'll take the damn trip.  But I didn't want to go, because I was really looking forward to that lazy, Long Island New Year's.  All I really wanted to do was settle on the couch around 9 pm, blow my lame plastic noisemaker at midnight, fall asleep on the couch at around 2 am, then finally drag myself to bed and sleep till noon.  Ideal New Year's.  I know, I'm the coolest.  But really.  So much better than driving around in the cold pretending to "go sightseeing".  What are we looking at?  Trees?

Okay, well, apparently we could have gone to see Yale and Brown, but...nyehhh.  Plus, they're closed.  I'll just go during Spring Break.  

So yeah.  After much deliberation, I called Grandma and told her I didn't want to go, and could we please just stay in Long Island.  She said yes, of course, because her darling little granddaughter asked her.  She said we could buy our traditional Japanese New Year's feast, do calligraphy, play cards, all that good stuff.  Sweet.  But after I hung up the phone I felt horribly guilty.  I mean, my grandparents are over 80 years old.  As arrogant and self-centered as it sounds, all they really want to do is spend time with me.  And (dare I say it) who knows when we'll all be able to take a trip together again.  I just felt like a terrible, terrible person.  

And I'm still kinda bummed out.  I talked to my parents, and they said my grandparents probably didn't mind because I was still spending New Year's with them and not running off to some teenage drinking party.  I was going to be with them, and that's all that matters.  .....Umm, okay.  I'm just telling myself I'll make up for the lack of  family vacation time by being really nice during New Year's...I hope that works.

kiddies!

okay first of all, i'm eating these really delicious fruit gummies right now.  i have to say, japan is extremely advanced in gummy-producing technology.  they're SO GOOD.

anyway.  today i went with a bunch of people from ICU to volunteer at these two kindergartens.  the first-year students went to kindergarten #1, and the second- and third-years went to kindergarten #2.  we were split up into twos, and got to play with the adorable, bright-eyed little children.  i was paired with shota (as always...i have no idea why.  it's always very awkward because the WORLD is convinced i have a thing for him, which i don't.  we're just good friends because we were september-kids together.  blahh.  oh well.  seriously.  we're together for EVERYTHING), and we were to play with the kids in the "koyagi" class...the "little goats".  ahahahaha.  so cute.  the other classes were named after animals, too - pandas, little birds, bunnies, etc.  the "squirrels" class was special; they were the kids with autism.  that's the cool thing about these kindergartens.  most of the kids are "normal", for lack of a better word, but about a sixth of them have autism.  although they usually study in a separate classroom, a few times a day they go and join other classes.  pretty cool.  the awesome thing is that the other kids learn to treat the kids with autism just as they would treat anyone else.  They understand that sometimes they say or do things that aren't necessarily considered appropriate, but instead of being all "Why the hell did he just bite me" or "Why is he waving his arm around like a maniac", they simply accept it.  They also grow to be very protective of their friends with autism, getting defensive against anyone who dares be insulting.  it's so cute.  and really nice.

anyway.  so the little goats had playtime and PE during the few hours we were there, so shota and i took them outside.  ahhhhh.  omg.  i adore little kids.  they are actually the cutest things on the planet.  i love that they're so immediately trusting, and will grab your hands and jump all over you.  we played tag, and i was surprised to see that shota was uber good with kids.  it was actually very cute.  

after playtime, a bunch of them needed to pee.  taking them to the bathroom proved to be a full-on project.  as we were ushering the last of the goats into the room for PE, one of the kids with autism arrived to join our class.  he was kind of chubby, very loud, and extremely adorable.  upon seeing the other kids, he screamed "let me plaaaaaaaaay" at the top of his lungs and proceeded to barge into the circle of little goats.  haha.  and the little goats all shifted to accommodate him.  this little kid apparently had a weird obsession with heights, and throughout PE, he'd try to climb on the tables and chairs at the sides of the room.  but it was really nice to see them all playing together.

shmehhh.  when it was time for us to go, all the kids freaked out and like.  flung themselves at our legs and hung on for dear life.  i nearly died from all the cuteness.  but now, i think i sort of understand how parents feel.  taking care of kids is ridiculously hard work - making sure they don't hurt themselves, being kind but also firm when necessary, figuring out how to teach them right from wrong.  but they are so adorable, and the fact that they need you so much makes everything worth it. 

holiday cheer

So on Sunday, my mother hosted a holiday gathering at our house.  What had originally started out as small potluck-type party for maybe 15 guests eventually grew into a christmas-music-blasting, champagne-drinking, cheerful extravaganza for about 28, as my mother invited more and more people.  Jesus.  But it was, all in all, a very enjoyable evening.  This is how it went:

1pm - I finish making the cardboard star to put on top of the Christmas tree.  This stupid star has taken me about an hour.  But it turned out well.  After spending another 10 minutes deciding at what angle I should place the star, I climb down from the ladder and start putting the little star-shaped GelGems on the windows.

2pm - An hour before the party starts.  My mom begins to panic.  The meatloaf is still not fully cooked, she has not showered, the cardboard star I spent an eternity making has fallen off the tree, and there is a large spot on the floor in the living room that is extremely slippery.  While I tie the star to the top of the tree, my dad decides to solve the slippery-floor problem by unsticking the GelGems from the window and sticking them to the floor.  His argument is that the GelGems will make people aware of the floor and get them to be more cautious........No comment.   

2:50 pm - The first guests arrive.  Of course, my mom is nowhere near ready.  She is in her bathrobe.  My dad and I are left to entertain Mayumi-san and her son, Shota (my age).  My dad gets really awkward because he is not a very sociable person towards people he's not close with, and I was kinda in the middle of scooping all the crap off the floor of my room and into the closet.  Plus I have yet to decide what to wear - although there isn't much to think about, because I own no party-worthy clothing.  So I leave my dad to serve the guests drinks, and I go get changed.  When I come out, Mom looks me over and asks, "Don't you have anything more holiday-ish?"  So I go back into my room and don my Santa hat.  There.

3pm - Okay, more people come in.  Mom assigns me the job of "mashed-potato-maker".  And no, they're not real mashed potatoes.  I open the box of powdered mashed potatoes and start pouring in hot water, just as one of my best friends at school, Hibiki, arrives and saves me from all the exclamations of "You've gotten so grown-up!" and "You're taller than me now, I think" (uhh yeah Japanese people are uber short).  Thank God.  Hibiki's mom and my mom are total biffers.  No joke.  It's actually kind of disturbing.

3:10 pm - Hibiki and I are sent out to buy bread.  I am wearing my Santa hat and my ridiculously bright red jacket, so I get a lot of weird looks.  I forget that Tokyo doesn't have as many crazy people as Manhattan does.  We buy 3 baguettes and a roll of some sort of pumpkin bread.  Hibiki insists on carrying the baguette bag home, because it makes her feel French.  Hahahahah.  Well actually, to her credit, she does look extremely classy in her heels and general party attire.  And I'm the bright red Santa wearing jeans and a pair of Converses next to her.  Woo!

3:20~7 pm - General merriment.  Other than Hibiki and Shota, there are two other guys I've known since I was little - Takuji and Dai-chan.  Takuji is the ladies' man; funny, cool, easy to talk to.  Dai-chan is more serious, but he's still very nice.  Anyway.  One of my dad's friends brought his three kids with him, Ben (9), Uta (7) and Aya-chan (3).  They are ridiculously cute.  Ridiculously.  And they're all weirdly smart, too.  Seriously, if they weren't over 7 years younger than me, I think I'd be really intimidated.  We discover their seemingly unlimited intelligence while playing various card and board games.  They can pick up games instantly, and even Aya-chan, the youngest, is able to contribute.  Aya-chan is assigned the position of dealer during our game of SET (which both Ben and Uta can play perfectly.  Good lord), and she can look at the cards already put out and know immediately how many more she has to deal.  And she's such a sweetie, too - always the first to start cleaning up when the game ends.  We also play the aMAZEing Labyrinth (a maze/puzzle, obviously), and Uta appears to be the smartest of us all - finding paths and solutions that nobody else can even imagine.  

8 pm - Secret Santa!  Mom has arranged the $10 gifts everyone has brought under the tree.  We pick numbers from a hat, and grab the gift corresponding to the number.  I pity whoever gets my edamame plant...

8:30 pm - As the young'ns start to get sleepy, the party gradually deteriorates.  Everyone is busy saying goodbyes.  Most of the guests have left when I spot my edamame plant abandoned on the coffee table.  Hardy har har.  I give it to a very eager and grateful Uta.

8:45 ~ 9:45 pm - As usual, Hibiki and her mom are the last ones left so we all hang out on the couch, chatting and eating ice cream.  Then Mom brings out the fitness ball to demonstrate the latest exercises she's learned at the gym.  Knowing this can get pretty ugly, Hibiki and I escape to my room to play a round of Catchphrase (yes, I brought it across the world with me).

10 pm - Hibiki and her mom leave.  My parents and I are exhausted, so we all just collapse into bed.  It finally feels like Christmas!  Other than the fact that we can't leave gifts containing chocolate under the tree, because the floor-heater makes everything melt.  :D

yikes!

jesus.  i just read this blog over and i'm getting less and less articulate by the day.  help!

end of finals and such...

on thursday i had my last two finals.  chem was crazy easy and modern japanese was...in a word, death.  but oh well.  anyway.  i'd expected to feel liberated when the bell rang to signal the end of the modern japanese exam, but i felt oddly unsatisfied and restless.  maybe i'm starting to actually care about how well i do on exams and things.  i studied pretty hard for these finals, but it wasn't nearly enough.  the weird thing is, though, at ICU, i measure my success on a test by how many problems i left blank.  meaning, if i left less than a quarter of the answers blank, then GREAT.  i know that's probably unheard of in brearley terms, but it's pretty much impossible to be able to answer every question on a test.  so yeah.  

whatever, i'm gonna work harder next term.  (or so i tell myself...)

thursday night, we had a badminton dinner.  exams ended at around 10:30, and dinner wasn't until 4:45, so we basically had 6 hours to kill.  yeeshk.  my friend yurika and i decided to wander kichijoji (two stations away from school.  one of the main hangouts for young, "hip" people).  there are all these little stores on the street, as well as some big department stores.  walking around was fun, but ridiculously tiring.  after wandering for about three hours, we decided we were way too exhausted and retreated to the arcade-type basment of this department store, where we fooled around with a purikura machine.  purikura machines are my new obsession.  i realize it is a totally narcissistic and toolish thing to do, but they're SO MUCH FUN.  and in my defense, i don't like the ones where you just stand there with your friend and take cutesy, prettified pictures of yourself ("prettified" because purikura machines have light settings that can make your eyes look brighter and bigger, or your skin look clearer, or whatever).  those are lame.  but i love the ones that have the cool backgrounds.  a lot of the machines have green backdrops and green "stairs"that disappear, and you can pose so that when they put the actual background in, it looks like you're surfing, or riding an elephant, or whatever.  yeah i know that was really hard to understand but it was extremely difficult to explain.  i apologize.

anywhoo.  i also had to buy a few things, so the kichijoji wandering session was good for that as well.  my class is doing secret santas (no debates over secret "santa" or secret "snowman" this year haha), so i had to buy a gift for under 500 yen.  500 yen is basically nothing, so it was a very challenging task.  i ended up buying a pair of really fuzzy ducky socks and a peach-scented gel pen.  luckily the girl i'm buying my secret santa gift for is really really nice, so it wasn't too hard to pick something for her.  i'm really glad i didn't get one of the boys because well.  boys are impossible to shop for, especially for under 5 bucks.  

my mom's also doing secret santa at her holiday party/get-together she's hosting tomorrow at our house, so i had to buy something for that too.  this one was even harder because i had to buy something for under $10 that would appeal to everyone (man/woman/boy/girl), because we're picking presents at random.  i bought an edamame plant.  haha.  hey, DIY edamame is awesome.

friday, the badminton team went to disneyland.  the number of people there was mind-boggling.  seriously, it was totally absurd.  the lines for the really popular rides like splash mountain was 120 MINUTES LONG.  jesus.  ridiculous.  and what was even more ridiculous was that we actually waited on line for 2 hours.  hooooly crap.  but we ended up going on about 10 rides, which wasn't too bad.  plus i got to go on the merry-go-round.  wheee.  but nobody would ride on alice's teacups with me.  i was extremely upset.